New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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