We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
