Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
