Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
