sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
