I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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