i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize