He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
