I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Randomize
