If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
