How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
