but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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