we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
