Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
