I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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