i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
