You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
