one might say we're banned from that church
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
