he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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