Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
