paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
