Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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