we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Soap is not a condiment
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
