Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
