Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
