U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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