it wasn't lemon gatorade
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Is Oprah even human
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
