i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
