yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize