WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
