Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
