i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
i believe in u and ur pee
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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