Someone shit on the floor
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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