there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
