Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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