Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
