I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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