apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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