so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize