I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize