so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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