Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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