Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
