You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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