I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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