I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
