We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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