i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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