dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
