found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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