woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize