there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
