All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
