having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
