do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
