what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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