there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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