belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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