oh god the rape fog is back!
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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