i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
